What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Is heroin really as good as people say it is?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Yes sir it is.

{RING} {RING}

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Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Sure no problem officer.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

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No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

After a few moments he returns.

Why do White people love dogs more than humans?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

HELLO